Is Your Resistance Too High? Part 1 in my New Year’s series

If you want 2014 to be a year of change read on . . . .

In this three-part series I look at three questions are keys to bringing change and growth into your life:

  • Part 1: Is your resistance too high?

  • Part 2: Is your vulnerability too low?

  • Part 3: Do you believe you are an artist?

Part 1: Is your resistance too high?

The training wheels must come if you’re really going to ride. Do you remember those first days when you learned to ride without help? There is nothing like the freedom and ease that comes with mastering the bike free of supporting wheels or parents. Resistance is a form of training wheels that slows us down and keeps us from riding free and easy.

“I’m tired of being small” is an almost universal theme that is voiced by my spiritual direction clients and chaplaincy students. Resistance is the powerful mechanism that lures you into staying small in spite of all of your desire to be otherwise. Staying small and within cozy routines is so powerful because it is safe and easy: it keeps the training wheels on.

What does resistance look like?  I just spent 45 minutes entranced in Pinterest. Ten minutes is a fun diversion. 45 minutes is resistance. Resistance is all the stuff that we do to avoid expressing our best self and moving toward our dreams. Resistance is anything that removes risk and keeps you from falling. Here are some of its favorite forms:

  • Excuses: victim thinking, blaming others, judgmental thinking

  • Distractions: Pinterest, Facebook, TV, computer games, excessive eating or drinking

  • Busy work: emails, shuffling clutter, obsessing over projects or people

Resistance is any diversion that keeps you safe rather than engaged in your best life.

If you are sick of living small, it’s time to let go of your resistance. The first step is to clarify what you want. What would really shift your life? Once you know what brings you to life, then you take small steps daily in that direction. There are a thousand tricks that can help you take these steps, but all of them are fueled by an intention to follow your dream and live more vitally.  You will need to define what works for you. Here are a couple of things that work great for me:

  • The big five: On my best days, I clarify from the start what are the five most important things I can do to move toward what I most want. I use a great app called WorkFlowy, which is a simple and powerful To Do List to track this.

  • Work in batches: In order to keep from falling into a trance with email or any other task, I often set a timer that may range from 10 to 60 minutes. I allow myself no distractions in this period. The timer keeps me focused and on task. When the time goes off, I switch to another task. Efficiency experts have found that this simple technique increases the amount of work that people accomplish by leaps and bounds.

 So take the training wheels off your bike and ride into your new life! There is a new you that would just love to come out and play.

Categories Spirituality, Thriving, Transformation, Vitality | Tags: | Posted on December 19, 2013

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