Random Reminders for Realness

Be The Best YouThere is a shortage of realness in the world, and in my own life. The pace and problems that swirl around us often push our realness to the background and our reactivity to the foreground. The intuitions, knowing and contentment that are present when we are real get drowned out by the household and work tasks, emails, family and social events, work demands, the snow, the melting snow, the list goes on and on.

As I was driving to work, and feeling preoccupied by all the stuff that was awaiting me, four ideas presented themselves to me that helped me ground myself and slow down as I entered into the flow of work.

It’s not about me. Other people who are impatient, unrealistic, demanding, annoying, needy, etc., are not my problems and I am not responsible for them. I can be responsive and even caring toward them, but I don’t have to be. Their dramas are their dramas, and they don’t need to become mine.

It’s all about me. My well-being and my mood in any given moment are all about me. No one can make me feel anything. There is no external situation that has to undo me. When I drop down into what is most real in me, I find a space that is quiet, secure and grateful. The door to this space is always open, but I have to be intentional about entering it, especially when the demands mount.

The size of my problems and my spirit are inversely related. On a scale of 1 to 10, if my problem is a 6 and my spiritual awareness is at a 3, it’s a big problem. So, let’s say I decide to go for a walk, I let the singing birds remind me that the Divine is conspiring for my well-being, and my spirit score jumps to an 8. Suddenly, the size 6 problem is smaller, it’s significance has shrunk, and now I am able to figure out a way to make it a size 3 problem. The reminder that “we are spiritual beings having a human experience” is a powerful shift of perspective.

My work is not to prove myself but to improve myself. My ego always needs to justify its existence, and it wants to make sure that you know how important or good I am. “What do they think?” “I need to . . . .”  “ I should . . . .“ Phrases like these carry the weight of proving ourselves to others. They are layered with beliefs that are spirit killing, and they make us less real and more strung out. When I shift my thinking to improving myself, to “what will my best self do in this moment?”, I shift from victim to learner. My focus goes from reacting to creating. I take responsibility for becoming more real, and I live in the expectation that I will do so. 

After rehearsing these random reminders, I walk into work lighter. I am more grounded, energized and I look forward to some of the work that lies ahead. Everything goes better when I get more real.

Categories Presence, Spirituality, Thriving, Vitality | Tags: | Posted on March 17, 2014

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